you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
