Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
