Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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