But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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