I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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