She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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