ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
