Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
