you guys were way drunker than both of me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
