you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
