Umm I'm too high to move.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
