I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
