yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
grandma shit on top of the toilet
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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