At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
