Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
