I need help removing her.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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