do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
