I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
