omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
