you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
