i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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