I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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