The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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