also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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