I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
