BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
she told me i tasted like america
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize