She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
