whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Don't make out with my wife yet
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
