Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
