wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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