if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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