i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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