2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
