never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
