My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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