He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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