I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
