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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I hate bills.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Like ones you have to pay or people named William?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

  Fav 7 842 3144

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.

  Fav 45 10782 1035

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

  Fav 17 12020 1474

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.

  Fav 11 4591 1618

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• (914): View more from New York

  Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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• 

  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka

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