Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

How was it?

(847): View more from Illinois

Fantastic, but that's not the point.

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(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me. (1-847): How was it? (847): Fantastic, but that's not the point. http://tfl.nu/muuk

Replies (205) Good night (88216) Bad night (7739)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.

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(931): Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/ee6d

Replies (5) Good night (2193) Bad night (742)
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(510): View more from California

I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...

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(510): I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring... http://tfl.nu/set0

Replies (80) Good night (2899) Bad night (8313)
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(562): View more from California

trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"

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(562): trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander" http://tfl.nu/pjq1

Replies (20) Good night (3436) Bad night (808)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.

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(248): I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food. http://tfl.nu/368q

Replies (59) Good night (901) Bad night (3857)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?

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(781): I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I? http://tfl.nu/0o9s

Replies (5) Good night (885) Bad night (3579)
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(540): View more from Virginia

she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.

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(540): she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated. http://tfl.nu/qt45

Replies (32) Good night (848) Bad night (9067)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.

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(608): last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome. http://tfl.nu/a48x

Replies (32) Good night (8993) Bad night (1785)
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(512): View more from Texas

that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.

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(512): that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people. http://tfl.nu/5ebd

Replies (9) Good night (3599) Bad night (971)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

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(717): thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape. http://tfl.nu/7lpf

Replies (8) Good night (3893) Bad night (1006)
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(816): View more from Missouri

i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.

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(816): i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else. http://tfl.nu/65tn

Replies (1) Good night (1137) Bad night (2950)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

It's official drugs can't kill me

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(864): It's official drugs can't kill me http://tfl.nu/v797

Replies (13) Good night (2145) Bad night (838)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale

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(978): It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale http://tfl.nu/xdvd

Replies (8) Good night (1893) Bad night (423)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.

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(859): So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius. http://tfl.nu/kk6i

Replies (3) Good night (1090) Bad night (389)
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(678): View more from Georgia

If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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(678): If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure http://tfl.nu/x8g2

Replies (0) Good night (657) Bad night (297)

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