Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.

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  (508): hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose. http://tfl.nu/ylto
  Replies (22) Good night (1302) Bad night (1081)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never want to see another naked old woman again.

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  (724): I never want to see another naked old woman again. http://tfl.nu/5axh
  Replies (15) Good night (703) Bad night (3585)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina

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  (215): omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina http://tfl.nu/buf1
  Replies (56) Good night (6639) Bad night (2378)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

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  (516): Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining. http://tfl.nu/o92e
  Replies (6) Good night (4272) Bad night (1003)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  First date: that requires underwear, huh?

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  (954): First date: that requires underwear, huh? http://tfl.nu/ogif
  Replies (17) Good night (4190) Bad night (1083)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.

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  (812): You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation. http://tfl.nu/u8wd
  Replies (5) Good night (2778) Bad night (839)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...

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  (253): sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident... http://tfl.nu/dmae
  Replies (16) Good night (1897) Bad night (1400)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.

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  (203): Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar. http://tfl.nu/i0ni
  Replies (16) Good night (3325) Bad night (840)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.

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  (402): Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day. http://tfl.nu/rkpb
  Replies (6) Good night (670) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.

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  (503): My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies. http://tfl.nu/5aky
  Replies (5) Good night (522) Bad night (1200)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Fuck him.

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  (304): When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred. (606): Fuck him. http://tfl.nu/h9q7
  Replies (3) Good night (1494) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.

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  (757): No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance. http://tfl.nu/6tt7
  Replies (0) Good night (838) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?

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  (214): Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!? http://tfl.nu/oye4
  Replies (4) Good night (877) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer

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  (267): Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer http://tfl.nu/jmew
  Replies (1) Good night (800) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.

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  (218): I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win. http://tfl.nu/te10
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (301)

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