Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire

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  (310): Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire http://tfl.nu/u3d6
  Replies (6) Good night (836) Bad night (1652)
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  (951): View more from California

  I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

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  (951): I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right? http://tfl.nu/4fsw
  Replies (22) Good night (2466) Bad night (719)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.

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  (612): I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin. http://tfl.nu/g2gc
  Replies (127) Good night (5907) Bad night (663)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.

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  (913): checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad. http://tfl.nu/40qb
  Replies (27) Good night (1669) Bad night (7275)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.

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  (773): At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect. http://tfl.nu/fdmy
  Replies (7) Good night (3197) Bad night (1001)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"

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  (403): Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters" http://tfl.nu/r2rb
  Replies (6) Good night (2578) Bad night (1336)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

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  (602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig. http://tfl.nu/5nul
  Replies (15) Good night (2586) Bad night (996)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.

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  (714): I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year. http://tfl.nu/qsqv
  Replies (9) Good night (2145) Bad night (1536)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.

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  (850): I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs. http://tfl.nu/p0c7
  Replies (11) Good night (1939) Bad night (709)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.

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  (256): Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you. http://tfl.nu/bzso
  Replies (11) Good night (3408) Bad night (713)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?

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  (425): So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt? http://tfl.nu/9qop
  Replies (8) Good night (1634) Bad night (415)
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  (212): View more from New York

  We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.

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  (212): We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere. http://tfl.nu/afoi
  Replies (9) Good night (1714) Bad night (426)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

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  (306): I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee. http://tfl.nu/xuxq
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (267)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  The struggle is real.

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  (620): I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot (857): The struggle is real. http://tfl.nu/tczd
  Replies (0) Good night (624) Bad night (269)
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  (530): View more from California

  I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that

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  (530): I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that http://tfl.nu/q232
  Replies (0) Good night (316) Bad night (180)

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