seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.