i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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