Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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