So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
