Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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