Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
