whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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