I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I will pee on everything he values.
This is classic penis vs brain.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
