Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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