I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
