Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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