I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
