Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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