This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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