why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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