this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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