Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My Sexting was not on an AP level
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
