You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
