Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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