12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize