He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Go christen that room with your naked body.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
