Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
