Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
