I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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